


CLOWN PARTY

by strawberrymuffins



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Clowns, F/F, Fantasy, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Magic, Mental Health Issues, Minor Violence, Multi, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Other, Scary Clowns, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26745625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrymuffins/pseuds/strawberrymuffins
Summary: a group of clowns do their best in a world full of corruption and silly string. chaos ensues.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. ACT ONE : BANANA CRÉME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> two idiots walk into a tavern...

It was a very early morning in the city of Berrijam, morning dew covering the leaves of fresh fruit trees and the thorns of roses. The scent of ozone and fresh mud blew by on cold winds, carrying also the familiar smells of morning hot cocoa and pies. The main source of which being a sanctuary in the center of town. A quiet place to lay your head, a bright light through the autumn time changes, a bed and breakfast full of magical clowns.

In this safe haven sat two clowns in particular. One, who sat with a plate of strange purple meat in front of them, seemed to stand out like a sore thumb amongst the morning breakfast rush. Minimalist smudged makeup, crimson red eyes, wearing a muzzle like some sort of wild animal, they obviously didn't ' belong ' there. As if the recently broken prison chains didn't make that obvious enough.

As for the other, she didn't match up in a different, more welcoming way. Being a party clown, she stuck to rounded off face paint shapes, bright colors, and purple hair stuck up in two small pigtails. Oh, not to mention the multitude of leaves and twigs assorting her hair and the multitude of bracelets lining her arms. Not quite a match for the mimes, court jesters, and generally old fashioned fools lining the rest of the building, who stuck to natural colors and fabrics. 

" Emelia? Is that what you said your name was? "

The party clown piped up, swirling her cup of strawberry-orange juice in a thoughtful manner. There was still no response until another cup slammed down on the table, one full of cherry cinnamon hot chocolate. 

" Ah… mhm, yep, that'd be me alright. Emelia Austin. Definitely. "

She stopped playing with her juice, settling it gently on the flower print tablecloth and taking a small bite from the pink and yellow pie in front of her. 

" … that's suspicious. "

Emelia broke out into a throaty cackle at the girl's response, smacking the table with a rough, bandaged hand. 

" I'm sorry, jellybean, you think I'd stutter on my own damn name? Please. "  
" If you're so particular about my real name, it's Bambam the Beater. Now, hand over yours, sugarpie. "

Before the cheerful girl could even consider her answer, a shriek rang out through the tavern. Everything went silent, a sudden change in tone from the previous clanging and chattering, as a short and stout jester stumbled from the kitchen with powdered sugar covering her hands. 

" OH, FISHSTICKS - "

She was quick to fall to the ground, the jingling bells attached to her boots jingling pathetically as her nose hit floorboard. 

Bambam barely held back another laugh, desperately wishing she could've brought her trombone for some PLATINUM comedy. Meanwhile, the unnamed stepped up and shambled over, limping on her left leg with a concerned expression. She bit down on neon pink lipstick with slightly large front teeth.

" Oh, poor little muffin, are you lost - ? "

Just as soon as the question was asked, she was back up on her feet, her bells ringing sweetly despite her panicked expression.

" THERE'S BEEN A ROBBERY! "

The whole tavern area went silent for a moment, staring at the girl, who was small enough to fit into the liquor cabinet with ease. Though she bore the mark of the royal court, a star branded by magic flame into cheeks of servants by The Ringmistress herself, it was hard to take her seriously. She had the chubby cheeks of a seal with no neck, accentuated by white makeup circles and vermillion swirl marks. 

Then again, these were clowns, so they took her seriously after a collective shrug. Screaming and honking rang out through the building, with most everyone finding their way out the door… aside from the two newcomers.

Bambam nearly rolled their eyes into the back of their head, standing up with enough recklessness to knock their chair out from behind them. They mumbled something under their breath, mostly profanities, stomping across wood with the determination of someone who had been here too many times. 

" Get the fuck outta my way, kind stranger, lemme talk to this pipsqueak. "  
They spoke tough, but they pushed her aside very gently, leaning down to have a conversation with the alarm bell herself.

" Where'd they head out? C'mon, kid, gimme a hint. Did ya see which door they ran out? "

" I… I'm not a kid. My name is Bo. Bo Jingles. They - "

Bo had just begun to regain her composure and respond when she was interrupted by fingers around her ruffles, yanking her face to face with a smirk underneath a muzzle.

" Are you some kinda accomplice, then, Bo Peep? "

To which Bo could only sputter, starting to sweat puddles and turn a paler white than the makeup across their cheeks. Finally, the party clown stepped in, grabbing Emelia by the back of her prison uniform and yanking her backward just slightly.

" Down, dumbass. That little lady couldn't have been part of anything of the sort, and you're scaring her half to death no less! "

Bambam started to come up with a snarky retort, but… they had a few brains left, just enough to drop Bo and stand to full attention again. Still, they would hold onto their suspicions… for now.

" Chirp, birdie, I ain't got all day to go find your damn robbers. "

Bo gulped, playing with her fingers and squeaking the gloves covering them nervously.

" I… Uh… Ah… They went… Um… "  
" Ah! Crap, I don't know, I don't know, I - "

" Relax, sweetheart, they're just a lot of talk."

The one who was still yet to be named smiled gently, walking over and placing a hand on Bo's back, much to Bambam's chagrin. They refused to speak on the ' lot of talk ' comment.

" How about we settle this over some more hot chocolate and juice? I'll pay for it from the machine since I don't think anyone else is left in the kitchen… "

" Um… yeah. Yeah, that sounds good, uh… what's your name, miss? "

" Julia. Julia Jelloshot. "

" Fuckin' FINALLY! "

Bambam erupted, causing both Julia and Bo to jolt.


	2. ACT TWO : THE FOOL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the group is formed by the power of shutting the fuck up.

" So, a robbery, huh? Like, a real, full-blown robbery? Woahhh… "

Jello's enthusiasm towards the situation was cut short by a heavy fist being planted into their soft arm, causing her to yelp and pout as she awaited the answer. 

" Er… Yes. It's that one group that rolls around here, the… Cirque du Fantôme? Some creepy fellas they are, I've never met mimes who speak only in death threats… "

Jello flinched at the name. Of course, it had to be a familiar one. She couldn't go anywhere without old ties. As for Bambam, well…

" Ha! That's nothin', I could beat them up in ten seconds flat. Gimme fifteen to wipe off my hands. "

" I… wouldn't say that. "  
Bo shyly piped up and was met by a chuckle.

" And why the hell not, sweetcheeks? Scared a couple of skinny mimes could beat me up? " 

They leaned across the table, folding their hands together and staring at her with a smirk. Their gleaming eyes held a flash of sadistic amusement as they watched Bo's expression change from nervous, to flustered, and finally to agitated.

" I… you can't… look at me like that and expect a proper answer. "  
" Yeah, I can, sugar. Come on and tell me, I ain't gonna bite no more. "

Bo gulped, crimson skin shining through on her ears and the exposed parts of her cheeks. Still, she continued, looking away and ignoring the amusement Bambam was getting.

" Well, they have all this… weird mime magic. They can make invisible ropes, and boxes, and - "

Mime magic. Jello started to regret all the juice, they felt queazy.

" How'd you escape? "  
" … knife. "

A silence fell over the table, soon followed by loud, obnoxious cackling. 

" AHAHAHA! A knife? Cutting through magic rope? Please, they're pathetic, I'm gonna go start looking for 'em. Jello, you comin' with, or do you wanna put this cute little thing here in any more danger? "

They were in the middle of standing up when a force pulled them back to the chair, almost like a strong wind. 

" OMPH - "

This time, it was Bo who stood up, slamming her hands into the table, much to the shock of both of the others seated. In fact, it pulled Jello right out of her sickness spell.

" Listen here! You are being irrationally cocky, and I will not stand for your nonsense! "

Bambam sat there, blinking for a moment. They didn't quite know how to respond, so after a moment of contemplation, they slowly nodded. Jello patted them on the shoulder with a slow, reassuring thumbs up for their cooperation. 

" Good… good. "  
" I used to be a royal jester - "

" Boot kisser… "

" SHUT - Okay, moving on. I have access to royal weaponry, including… the fool's dagger. "

" So, what you're telling me, is with your little… wishy-washy fantasy knife - "

A hand was clapped under the muzzle and over top of their mouth, Jello's exhaustion beginning to show in her face. Their own pain showed right alongside Emelia's fiery burning hatred for their current position.

" Alright, keep going. "

Jello provided them a shaky, plastered on smile as she wrestled the significantly larger clown into submission. 

" … Thank you. "  
" So, the fool's dagger can only cut through magical restraints. Whether it be handcuffs, ropes, or boxes, if it's made via magic, I can cut through it. "

Bambam tried to make a comment about that being a stupid mechanic but was silenced by the fingers of justice. 

" What I'm getting at here is… if you want to get past these guys, you're gonna need me. "  
" Because… uh… you know… this dagger is really important to me, and I… "  
" Okay, cutting the crap, I need something better to do. The uniforms, the men, the cleanup… this job is killing me. "

That was what caused the thrashing to settle, slowly but surely. Peace fell over the mostly empty tavern, and with patience, they began to agree. A thumbs-up of their own came to light, and suddenly, a weight was lifted. 

A clown party was formed.


	3. INTERMISSION ONE : UNDERNEATH THE BUBBLEGUM TREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a distant memory rings through her head.

" Vonnie? "

A chipper voice chimed in from the other side of the bubblegum tree, sweet and soft as the whistling breeze flowing through the soft pink leaves.

" Mhm… "  
" I love it here. You know that, but… it's just so quiet. I never get to sit in the quiet anymore. "

Vonnie moved themself to the other side of the tree, waddling over with tinkling bells following their every step. The very sound brought a giggle forth from their acquaintance, and from themself a grin.

Hesitantly, they sat down, shuffling their puffy pants and black combat boots in the grass. 

" Hmm… "  
" Yeah, I know, buddy. One day, you and I? We're gonna blow this joint. I mean it. We can blow up those old tents, make those ringleaders cry - "

Their sudden violent fantasising was interrupted by the feeling of a soft cheek landing on their shoulder. They turned about as pink as the round candy fruits all over the ground around them, looking over at Vonnie with surprise.

" … JJ…? "  
" Mhm? "  
" … best friend. "

JJ grinned, reaching over to give them a pat on their puff of hair. 

" Best friend. Always and until the end. "


	4. ACT THREE : FARMER'S MARKET

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> autumn in the kingdom of sweets.

Now, later on in the day, the shock from the morning had settled. But, the three musketeers still had work to tend to, and it started off simple. A citywide questioning.

" Remind me why we gotta go through all this? Can't we just… I dunno, walk up to their boss, punch him, get your shit back and go? "

Bo shook her head and sighed at Bam's inquiry, pinching the bridge of her nose in exasperation.

" Emelia, we can NOT fix every problem with your fists. This is SERIOUS. "

Bam let out an indignant grunt, crossing their arms and avoiding eye contact.

" Fine, I get it. You don't gotta call me that, though, makes me feel like I'm in trouble. "  
" Because you are! "

Jello snickered at the exchange going on in front of her, shaking her head before her attention turned towards the tables set up in front of them.

" Hey, guys? I think we hit that jackpot of social interaction! "

The smell of pumpkin pies filled the air alongside hot peanut butter taffy and freshly spun sugar fluff. Shopkeepers lined every pathway up and down, selling their wares to what was basically the whole city inside a street. Which, admittedly, wasn't much, but nevertheless! There were games, and clothing… but mostly food. 

Nonetheless, it was enough for everyone to split off. Jello went over to a small game booth, Bo towards the caramel coffee, and Bambam towards the jack-o'-lanterns.

Jello, of course, did ask the carnie if they had any information. No luck. Bo asked more firmly and specifically, but still nothing at all to be found. Bam returned to the center square with a pumpkin head, having not asked a single question.

They all found each other, eventually, on the middle circle of colorfully painted asphalt. Jello let out a laugh at Bam's new look.

" What's it with that, pumpkin man? New helmet? "  
" Shut up, pipsqueak, I think it looks neat. "

Bo refused to make a comment, though their tired smile had tilted upwards just a little bit.

" Well, I'll assume we have no information. How about we all get something to drink? My treat. "

Bo piped up, the response being enthusiastic nodding.

So, they all turned back, walking their ways back towards the caramel coffee booth. Bam couldn't see where they were going, exactly, but they assumed they were going the same direction by the fact that they could feel bodily heat next to them.

" Three caramel coffees, please! I'll take mine with just cream, and - "  
" About ten sugars for me, no creamer. "  
" Make mine strong. "

The shopkeeper nearly laughed at the odd group interrupting each other, the only thing stopping them was unwritten hospitality law. Bo's deep frown made it hard, though.

" It's alright, Jingles, I know your order well. Unsweetened cream and artificial sugar, right? "

Bo let out a sigh, nodding their head. Thankfully, most of these clowns knew them, or of them.

They left thirty tickets up on the countertop, smiling cheerily as it was exchanged for three drinks that seemed to appear from behind the barista's back.

" Have a nice day, you three! "  
" You too, Jitterbug. Hey, give me a call next time you have a shop out, okay? "

Jello picked up her coffee as they were talking, wandering over to a different stand and quietly asking for them to add something to it.

" Hey, do you carry any Irish Cream? "

Their request was met with a silently poured out shot, which they paid for before turning back to the group. Bam stared at them the whole time, but they both knew that they wouldn't talk about it. Actually, if you looked closely enough under the massive pumpkin, they wore a toothy smirk.

They all regathered at a checkered table surrounded by green and pink chairs, sipping coffee from heat resistant silly straws. 

" So, Bo, you allergic to sugar or somethin'? "

Bam spoke up, much to Bo's own surprise and agitation.

" Hm? Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know you suddenly wanted to talk to me with anything other than contempt in your tone. "  
" Well, I do. You're pretty damn mysterious, and I ain't too fond of secrets. 'Specially from retired shoe kissers. "  
" … don't call me that. "

Bo nearly lost their temper, but took a deep breath to respond. They had just opened their mouth when Bam piped up again.

" I'm sorry, is it not accurate? Royal court jester, shoe kisser, hell it might as well be a compliment to ya. Don't y'all lick the floor around that high chair? Huh? Didn't ya spoonfeed her so she didn't have to touch the plates? "  
" … she was very small, then… "  
" SHE WAS THIRTY FUCKIN' FIVE! "

Bam slammed their hand down on the table with a genuine anger that Jello hadn't witnessed in them since they had first met. Which was scary, especially when it was met by Bo slamming a knife into the table in front of them.

" DO YOU SEE THIS? DO YOU SEE ME? I GAVE - "

Their voice broke, with them beginning to quiet down to prevent other folks from staring. Their entire body shook, and certainly not with anxiety.

" I gave everything to sit here with this in my hand. So I could protect my family. So I could keep everyone safe. "  
" I have given up my dignity, my sanity, what little bodily strength I had left to sit in front of you today with this… piece of junk. "  
" So yeah. Shoe kisser's a great term for it, if you feel like making fun of people who already lost. "

Bam flinched. They started fidgeting with their hands, mumbling an attempted response but not getting anywhere other than profanities. They pulled the pumpkin hat off just to shove their fingers into the gaps in their muzzle to chew on them.

And Jello, of course, just sat back, wide-eyed and wishing they had asked for something slightly stronger in their coffee.

" … sorry. "

Bambam said through a mouthful of fingers, only to be met with little mercy from Bo.

" All you have done since we have met is embarrass, insult, and… humiliate me! Do you get some kind of sick pleasure out of playing with my emotions, or are you just confused about how to work together with anyone other than the easily manipulated party clown who tried to sneak vodka into her coffee behind my back? "

" Whaaaaat…? Vodka? No, I'd never ever never do something like that! It's whiskey. And I'm not easily manipulated, neither… "

Bo just stared at her. Their anger prevented them from being amused.

" Whatever. Even if you're going to treat me with disrespect, I'm still going to be in your party. You can get along with me, or you can not. Your choice. "

They finished their coffee in silence.


	5. ACT FOUR : THE ALLEY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> deeper, deeper into the marketplace, the sales become more... interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note : this chapter is currently being updated in small increments as a way to overcome executive dysfunction while also providing frequent updates. please be patient for the final work.

After that especially dark encounter, the clowns walked on in mostly silence. There was no other good way to walk after a tiny young jester scared such a large, frightening beast into shaking.

The only noise that came from them was questioning the others around them, which in itself quieted as they entered a more… dark, dreary zone.

Weapons were sold by clowns in dark hoods painted with ominous, ancient symbolism. Bloodied selections of meat fruits hanging from hooks above broken down stalls. Gunpowder and comically large matches. It excited one specific member of the group, who happened to have a pumpkin atop their head, but made the other two… wary.

Bambam made a mad dash over to one of the weapons stands with the excitement of a child. Jello followed, with mild reluctance, just to keep a close eye on their friend. As for Bo… Bo stood back a few feet from almost every shop owner, most of which were glaring daggers at them. 

Oddly enough, Jello found herself… excited by some of the items she saw. The chainsaws were shiny, the bombs were shiny, the metal bats…especially shiny. But one specific thing caught their eye, almost at the same time that Bambam shouted to the shopkeeper. 

" Yo, Claws! Been a while, care to take some cash outta my pockets? "

The short, gruff clown responded with a snarl, pulling a laugh out of Bambam. 

" Ah! Shit, you never change. "

Jello, meanwhile, had picked up a candy cane with a cap on the bottom. they didn't understand it for a moment, but with a small struggle, they pulled a knife out of the end.

" Wooooaaaaah… you have money for two? "

Bambam didn't even look over, holding a heavy mallet in their hand with a grin from under their pumpkin mask. 

" Yeah, yeah, whatever, grab whatever ya want… The jester's already got some stuff, right? … I don't think they wanna come over here, let's not pressure 'em to look. "

Their smile became hesitant as they pulled a few wrinkled, dirty old tickets from their pocket.

" Damn… you take tokens, bub? "

Another snarl.

" Alright, alright. ONLY gold tokens. Got it. "

Finally, after much shuffling and jingling, they pulled out the necessary currency and smacked it down on the table.

" Thanks for your service with a smile, as always. "

Jello was entranced by pulling the blade in and out, squinting at the mechanisms when she started being dragged away.

" Dirty ol' bastard… love that guy, but god damn. "

They started to turn back to get Bo, but they were one step ahead of Bambam, and they looked slightly impressed.

" … glad to see you both know about self-defense. Let's get out of here, now. "

( WORK IN PROGRESS. )


End file.
